(This is a preface to a forthcoming post devoted to the ways warriors are often most vulnerable around and wounded by women. This lays the groundwork for taking a closer look at how vulnerable warriors can be, how male warriors are to women.....partly because of temperament, rearing, blind spots, and some warrior codes. The view of woman presented below is hardly mainstream. I can't assume it's common knowledge that such a perspective exists. Probably most readers take all of this as a given. If not, the unique ways we are most vulnerable around women won't make sense.)
"Whatever woman may cast her lot with mine, should any ever do so, it is my intention to do all in my power to make her happy and contented; and there is nothing I can imagine that would make me more unhappy than to fail in the effort"
Abraham Lincoln
We Must Respect our Women, our little women, our Mothers
The mysteries of women and motherhood occupy much of my thought time. The best way to assess the health of a family…community….nation is to examine the nature and degree of appreciation and respect shown to Mothers and for Motherhood. Sometimes it is useful to compare the rituals and beliefs of different cultures to our own to assist in getting a developing a useful-valid yardstick. Some messages are barely noticed, others can bring a man to his knees. I throw out two 'experiences' (not confined to one moment of day.....punch may have hit on one day but reverberates still).
During a Mother's Day musical event in 1996, a well-known musician invited a Native American Elder to address the crowd. A 65 year old Dakotah Sioux (Chief and keeper of medicine) husband and father, named Ernest Peters or Longwalker shared some thoughts about differences between his people and the mainstream culture. Watch the video of Longwalker.
Longwalker a bit reticent to address the nearly all Caucasian crowd, began by simply noting that Americans celebrate Mother's Day one day in May ever year. His message continued more or less along these lines: "How sad….how sad that you set aside only one day a year to honor your mother's. My people celebrate mother's day every day. Every day is mother's day. When you came to my country some 500 years ago, my ancestors were deeply troubled by the ways of white men. We give thanks to all female life for they carry a unique burden. We owe our lives to women who do so much, suffer so much, and give so much to us.
We must change the way we treat our women and little women. You men, you must examine your hearts to realize how poorly you treat women. As men, we must be ashamed of how we treat women. We intimidate them with our strength, force ourselves on them to satisfy our needs, send them out to sell their bodies for money, take them away from their homes and children to make them work….My brothers, something is terribly wrong. Have the courage to search your hearts to see the truth. Summon the intent to make amends. It is time to end the ugly cycle. We must teach our sons well. We must learn to love and live in harmony with women. Men take your women's hand. Don't tell her where you are going. Ask her where she wants to take you. It is time. WE MUST CHANGE."
Who serves his fellows is of all the greatest
Dakotah
The Chief of a tribe of a billion or so from a distant country delivered a very similar message to his people….(contains some direct quotations, minor modifications to content, with personal observations woven in)
"We must honor those brave mothers who devote themselves to their own family without reserve, who suffer in giving birth to their children and who are ready to make any effort, to face any sacrifice, in order to pass on to them the best of themselves. These heroic women do not always find support in the world around them. On the contrary, the cultural models frequently prompted and broadcast by the media do not encourage motherhood. In the name of progress and modernity the values of fidelity, chastity, sacrifice, to which a host of wives and mothers have borne and continue to bear outstanding witness, are presented as obsolete….We thank you, heroic mothers, for your invincible love! We thank you for your intrepid trust in God and his love. We thank you for the sacrifice of your life.
However much new roles open up for women, everything in women—their physiology, their psychology, their more or less innate behavior, their moral, spiritual, and even aesthetic sense—reveals and enhances their disposition, capacity, and mission to bring new life into the world. They, much more than men, are involved in the generative process. By virtue of pregnancy and childbirth, they are more closely linked to the child, more involved in its entire development, more immediately responsible for it's growth, with a more intense share in the joys, sorrows, and dangers of its life. Though a mother's task must be coordinated with the presence and responsibility of the father, the woman is the one who plays the more important role at the start of every life. It is a role in which an essential characteristic of the human person is made plain: people are destined not to stay shut in on themselves, but to open up and give themselves to others.
The role of the mother must be socially reassessed. The mother's tasks in the home demand great commitment, much time, and much love and affection. Care has to be taken if the children are to become secure and responsible adults—that is, morally, religiously, and psychologically mature. If the responsibility for the development of the family belongs rather to the mother than to the father, even more depends on the particular relationship between mother and child.
A society can indeed be proud of itself if it allows mothers to devote time to their children, and if it allows them to bring them up in accordance with their needs. Women's freedoms as mothers should be clearly protected, so that they are free from all discrimination, especially in relation to women with no family obligations. Mothers must not be financially penalized by the very society they so usefully and nobly serve.
Who more than a mother can know the miracle of a life unfolding in her womb ?
Women, alas, often encounter objective difficulties, making their maternal task more onerous for them, sometimes to the point of heroism.
We must energetically repulse all the many forms of violence and exploitation which, more or less overtly, capitalize on women and trample on their dignity.
Not seldom, these unbearable pressures derive from indifference and inadequate help. They are due too to legal systems which are poorly attuned to the importance of family. They are also caused by a widespread and distorted culture which unduly excuses a man from his family responsibilities and, in the worst cases, encourages him to regard women as objects of pleasure or mere instruments of reproduction.
Against this oppressive culture, every legitimate initiative must be taken, with a view to promoting the genuine emancipation of women. But in this task, the dignity of motherhood and the protection of children, family, and life go hand in hand.
Women occupy a place in thought and action which is unique and decisive in creating a Culture of Life. Women have a responsibility to promote a "new feminism" which rejects the temptation of imitating models of "male domination", in order to acknowledge and affirm the true genius of women in every aspect of the life of society, and overcome all discrimination, violence, and exploitation. Women are called to "Reconcile people with life". Women are called to bear witness to the meaning of authentic love, of that gift of self and of that acceptance of others which are present in a special way in the relationship of husband and wife, but which ought be at the heart of every other interpersonal relationship. The experience of motherhood makes women acutely aware of the other person and, at the same time, confers upon women a particular task: "Motherhood involves a special communion with the mystery of life, as it develops in her womb…..This unique contact with the new human being developing within gives rise to an attitude toward human beings—not only toward her own child, but every human being—which profoundly marks the woman's personality. A mother welcomes and carries inside herself another human being, enabling it to grow inside her, giving it room, respecting it in its otherness.
Women first learn and then teach others that human relations are authentic if they are open to accepting the other person: a person who is recognized and loved because of the dignity which comes from being a person and not from other considerations-such as usefulness, strength, intelligence, beauty, or health. This is the fundamental contribution which each human being and all humanity so desperately needs from women. And it is the indispensable prerequisite for an authentic movement toward a Civilization of Love.
"When you lose the rhythm of the drumbeat of God, you are lost from the peace and rhythm of life" Cheyenne
Somehow, we took a wrong turn. Each of us senses something is fundamentally 'off' in the world, between nations and peoples, and within ourselves. One example or manifestation of this social auto-immune disease: Men and women don't get along so well-----we have 'evolved'-'devolved' (you pick) to make decisions to divorce without a moment's thought to the rights of and effects on the innocent children. Sorry, when people throw in the towel without pausing to consider the needs of their children........we have crossed a line......moved into a red zone. I was prepared to endure ANYTHING to buy a few extra years for my kids to develop enough to withstand our divorce without being totally devastated. I couldn't protect them from this one---I had no power to stop my ex from doing something that made no sense anyway you cut it. My ex's decision to exit a 17 year marriage in a very abrupt, disruptive, and absurdly nasty way made no sense....not even to her as it turned out. The 'most unkind cut of all' was the effect it had on my daughter and son.
We have created a mega-system (globalization, market forces, etc. that eliminates the best interests of human beings ) that, rather than serving people, requires people to bow to it's demands---demands that require us to neglect our souls, betray our brothers and sisters, treat our children so so poorly. Family used to be number one....now it's passe to talk about the importance of taking steps to protect families from the Forces of Time, to create a culture that exhibits blatant disregard for the lives of human beings. We are swimming in it so it's hard to recognize it. The prevalence of divorce is evidence of our failure to teach our young people how to succeed in picking the right partner and enduring the rough patches in marriages. We don't teach most of the most important and fundamental skills---pass on basic information.
Our ancestors lived in a 'paradise lost', a planet that was healthy and provided for our every need. Over the generations, we abdicated our responsibility to be wise caretakers of the earth (another manifestation of the dis-ease). Whether we realize it or not, this earth is our mother.
The Apollo astronauts experienced an unimaginably momentous shift in awareness as they saw the earth for the first time—able to 'see the forest for the trees'. It is impossible to deny the sense that our planet—from a distance—appears very much like a womb. The Apollo photographs breathed reality into a term of endearment—"Mother Earth".
We are right to hang our heads in shame as we begin to recognize the innumerable horrific ways we rape, dominate, pollute, and destroy the planet. We deny and ignore the 'wake-up call' received as human eyes saw for the first time in 1969: the truth ---the Earth is our Mother. We are all in the same boat. More than stardust, we are of the earth, we are the eyes and ears of the earth—embedded in Mother Nature.
There are haunting similarities between the plight of women and Mother Earth. It wasn't until the 18th century that we issued an ill-advised 'Declaration of Independence' from Mother Earth. We decided we were the 'Deciders'. We issued an ill-advised 'Declaration of Independence' from the rest of the Universe. We decided life on earth was some bizarre fluke spinning around in a lifeless Uni-verse. The same species that 'decided' to call ourselves homo sapiens sapiens ----' Wise squared----' decided we were the only form of intelligence in heaven and on earth. We set about proving our power and might using technology as a tool to have our way with 'her'. The 'Deciders' decided to erase the Creator from the books. We don't want a Creator. We want freedom to do as we please. .
Buckminster Fuller believed that Love is metaphysical gravity. The 'Deciders' never heard of Buckminster Fuller and already decided that Love is just a figment of the imaginations of the inconsequential little people. .
The 'Deciders' have decided to get it all while the getting is good. Greed is good. Greed is the only sensible creed since we decided there was no Creator, that we are just biological machines. We show our contempt for females any way we please. We force ourselves on women infecting them with disease. Men of the cloth destroy entire families with reckless abandon—and the Bishops protect these soul destroyers as their victims self-destruct. What is up with that ?
Our little girls are raped by men and bought and sold in the child sex slave trade. We say we love our children. Our actions and the facts say otherwise. People, this is wrong. We have no right to turn away and pretend it isn't real---or if it is, it just happens in far away places……….as if that made a difference. WE AREN'T JUST LOST. WE ARE DANGEROUSLY OUT OF CONTROL. I am with Longwalker.
THE by with to the in live a and that will have take love of culture).
How have we come to treat women so poorly ? Probably connected to ways we justify treating the earth as a mere object. The fact that they can be even more brutal in dealings with us isn't justification. I don't know. I sense it might be connected to the ways men get injured by women. Our culture is so out of control, it's impossible to deny the fact we need more warriors, we have too many wounded ones that need first aid, and we need to communicate and organize a bit. Like the Chinese say, the best leaders lead without anyone knowing. Warriors are not at the steering wheel. The 'Deciders' are winning the battles. Warriors need physical prowess and courage but without wisdom, cunning, and lots of practice doing battle with snakes.....exerting influence at all levels of society---we lose.
We need to change with the times, adapt strategy and tactics to fit the brave new 21st century world. Warrior tribes need to engage in back channel communications. The humility and vision that comes with proper interactions with the feminine in the world is accompanied by the wisdom and cunning to slay the Dark Forces that seem to rule the day. One thing is certain. We capitalize on the arrogance and short-sightedness of the Deciders. We allow women to teach us a few things so we can subdue the Forces that divide us.
Love has been called a military service. It's improper to mention warriors without speaking of Love and vice versa. 21st century warriors apparently must accept raising Love to an art form, to be as skilled in loving the sheep as in killing predators. The greatest strength is gentleness, so it's said. Damn, who in their right mind volunteers for such work ?
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