I made it...I am officially half way to Black now. My Sensei told me tonight, that I have the Black Belt mindset - I told him that I want it and that I have every intention of acheiving it. I was forced to quit (for several reasons) 2 belt ranks before my black in Tae kwon do and have always regreted it. I have been worried the last couple weeks that I would have to put off the test due to health reasons. I wasn't even sure this afternoon that I would be able to participate. Two hours before the test I ate and within a few minutes began feeling very ill. I was supposed to practice with my personal sensei and even feeling sick, I did manage to walk through everything once. I was so weak and dizzy it didn't feel like I was getting anywhere. He brought me home so I could shower and get ready. It helped some but not very much. I did pretty well over all. But, my katas were the worst I've done in some time. I was shaking at that point, so I really just ended up kind of studdering through them. I did better than I expected in my self defense sets though. I felt bad when I, took my partner down a little harder than I meant to. I am used to working with men who are completely prepared for it and make me work pretty hard to throw them. When I took Melissa down, that was where my head was and I should have realised she wasn't going to fight me like that. Luckily I didn't hurt her but I could have and I really need to focus on the current opponent, not project other personalities on them. I will have to better next time. Consent improvement is what I strive for. I may fall short of my goal, but I just have to keep working at it. I will get my Black eventually, but that is just the start.
