One year ago, after I got my black belt, I asked my teacher what it would take to go to the next step. What he said surprised me. He told me that I needed to study connection, and that now that I understood myself, I had to understand others.
For all of the techniques, weapons, katas, and wazas I have learned in the past year, the most important thing is the budo. It's almost dissappointing when you learn how easy violence is. The real challenge isn't doing it so much as understanding it. In the last year, I have tried to forge new relationships, and rekindle old ones. I haven't always been successful. I've learned that people are only going to be who they are and it's not fair to try and mess with that. I can accept people for who they are, but sometimes they just aren't right for me. There was a time when I knew many people but had few friends. I couldn't connect to people. Now I can, and every person that I meet is someone who I can have a quality relationship with. That means that I'm not just another friend, I'm the one that is really watching and listening to you. I'm the one who will give you what you need to grow. And I am very appreciative of the family and friends that I have, because their are people who would face down an army next to me, and I would do the same for them.
I wrote this because I have been doing a lot of reflecting in the past week, as I prepare for my nidan. I have finished a big step in my life and am looking towards the next one. So lets keep going!
